The elderly



I KNOW an old man, now pushing 90, who suffered a stroke a few weeks ago. I hope the stroke was not the tipping point that would accelerate his slide to more miseries. But it cannot be denied that it left him more pitiable than where his age was leading him.

There in bed he now lies most of the time. I was told though that recently, with some medicine and physical therapy, he has recovered some strength and is now able to stand and walk a little. He can even eat on his own again. I pray the improvements continue.

But he is actually a ghost of his old self. Once strong and patriarchal in manner, he is now very thin, as in skin-and-bones thin, his limbs looking more like sticks. I once entered his room, and he asked me -- for the first time -- to cover him with the blanket. Imagine, he could not do it himself anymore!

His naughty wit and humor have gone. The air of self-confidence and even of superiority is not there anymore. A lawyer, he knew and liked to argue a lot. How I admired him when he was into one of these discussions.

In their place, I noted a penchant for irrational fears and anxieties. He even seems to act like a child. He cries now, unheard of before, except when he lost his first son, but I did not see that. This must be part of old age, I thought.

What pains me more is discovering that he, who used to be my idol and god and continues to be so, appears to be sinking to helplessness. I used to depend on him. And through the years he always treated me as if I always needed him, while he regarded himself as beyond any concern on my part. He'd be worried if I worried for him.

But things are very different now. Not only does he need physical help. He now needs to be morally and spiritually supported. He now needs a lot of reassurances. He now requires attention, affection and understanding.

That is why, I try my best to teach him how to pray. He always told me that he prays, but this time, I think he needs to pray more. And I am happy that he seems to be corresponding quite well. When we pray together, I could see that he feels much better.

This is something new to me. If ever he had problems before, they were those of others, not his own personal ones. I never heard him complain about his illnesses and some frustrations, though I was quite aware of them.

He seemed to tell me that I could forget about him, while what I needed to do was to take care of myself. Now, for some strange reason, he always looks for me. "When are you going to see me again?" were the words he left me the last time I visited him.

It cannot be denied that we had been very close to each other. He looked after me, taught me the rudiments of things, from dressing up to public speaking and writing. I worked for him as his clerk for many years. He inspired me in countless and indescribable ways.

He also corrected me a lot of times. But never in public, not even before my brothers. I used to feel hurt because of them, but now I am most thankful for those corrections. This showed how much of a father he was and is to me.

Certainly, the old folks and the elderly in general are an integral part of our lives. They are our past. We come from them. We have been molded by them. They are the first representatives of God to us.

How we understand and deal with authority, and ultimately with God, is brought about by them. How we understand the different things in life somehow depended on them. The virtues, the values were learned through them.

They also are our future. What they are now can show us what we are going to be. Though they may appear to be in the end of life, they actually remind of the great truth about the continuity of life that transcends the temporal order. They remind us of eternity.

We should really take care of them. Never take them for granted. They continue to teach us precious lessons. The mysterious ways of life and love continue to be shown by them. Where we come from, where we are heading for are some questions they articulate in their own eloquent and vital ways.

We can never thank them enough.

The quality of our culture and civilization somehow will be shown and judged by the way we take care of the elderly. That's why it's painful to see how men these days ignore the elderly.