Names of boundless mirth

THE COLUMNS on names and naming generated so much e-mail I could not get myself to write the follow-up on the 1915 Bureau of Education list of Philippine Baptismal names.

In 1915, baptismal names had a very wide context reaching back into the Roman Martyrology and the Catholic saints, feasts and solemnities. There were allusions to ancient Greece and Rome that would delight a historian but I don't think we can find young people today who would want to be named: Agricola, Areopagita, Aristofanes, Aristoteles, Auxilio Cleopatra, Cariton (which we associate with scavengers of old newspapers and used bottles), Erasmo, Esopo, Seneca, Tecla, or Torcuato. I wouldn't want to be named after places too: America, Africa, or Asia.

One look at this ancient list and you rejoice that you live in the 21st century. There is a familiar sweetbread known as "Pionono" that for some strange reason was named after Pope Pius IX. The compiler of the 1915 list also had another pope, Pioquinto or Pius V that came with an amazing feminine counterpart: Pioquinta! This reminded me of two competing beauty parlors in the 1950s, the original was named Tres Chic and the one across the street thought it could do better with Cuatro Chic. In modern times we have the place called "Cooking ng Ina Mo." I have yet to validate the existence of a rival "Cooking ng Ina Mo Rin." Urban anthropology can be a diverting pastime, all one needs is an open mind, observant eyes and a notebook.

One of the readers who asked not to be identified (lest people think she has nothing better to do) has been listing down taxicab names since 1999 and supplied me with some arranged by type:

"Names referring to the driver's attributes? Queer, Silent, Type, Handsome, Shy, Big Eyes, Goodboy, Poorman, Clueless, Weirdo, Wild Woman and Mr. Excitement.

"Names referring to the taxi service? Aboveboard, Legitimate, Unbeatable, Smokin', Midas Touch, Matipid, Stealth (my personal favorite), Unexpected, User Friendly and Hi-Ho Silver.

"Names meant to entice one into the taxi? UR 2 CUTE, Lukatme, Your Way, Just Call me, Ride with Us, Onward, Hernando's Hideaway, Cadilock, Taki, Kotseko, and Cocheco Tacsimo.

"Slightly creepy: Sit Beside Me, Gremlins, 12 Fingers, Teeth & Bones, Sea-Ducer and Screaming "O." Filipino names: Inosario A. Tubil, Simeon D. Macayacyac, Boyoyong, Palaka, Love ko si Rona, Ma. Buhay, and Darna.

"Names referring to how the taxi was funded? Sukiyaki, Redundancy, Ancient Rome and Indaying's Dream.

"Strange names: Fish-a-Holic, Oink-Oink, EK-EK, Howling Gale, and Bluish Green.

"No thanks: Butt (yes, really, this is the most recent one I saw)."

From the above one can see that taxi names are a potential subject for a doctoral dissertation, but then when studied academically we might lose the Filipino humor that lightens our stress on the traffic-choked roads of Manila.

"Bojo" e-mailed: "I had an uncle who named his children so that the first letter of their names read 'a dios todos.' So the first child was Alfredo, then Daniel, etc. He had an 11th child whom he named after himself -- Elpidio. His oldest son Alfredo tried the same but for some time had only six kids so he could only spell 'a dios t.' An auntie of ours one day suggested that since it seemed difficult to complete the phrase, as Alfredo and his wife were getting on in years, they should give their all and have at least one more child and give him or her a name that starts with the letter 'a' thereby forming a famous Ilonggo phrase 'adios ta.' Ask your Ilonggo friends what the phrase means."

I have long heard about women with the surname "Bagonggahasa" but since I have not verified, this I'm waiting for proof. Jhonald Ilagan wrote about a certain "Virginia Bagonggahasa" again unverified. The rest of his e-mail though was informative:

"A few years ago, while studying for the medical board, I heard my boardmates talk about their classmate named Christmas, I smiled at the thought and couldn't believe it when they told me her surname was Bonus. Weeks after, the board results came out, and there she was, among those who passed (unfortunately, it didn't include me), Dr. Christmas Bonus. I think she has a sibling named Holiday."

"Toybee" e-mailed from Saudi:

"I was once a Medical Technology intern assigned in a rural Cebu town. Back then it was common to encounter names of kids such as 'Tom Cruise Duhaylungsod,' 'Jacky Chan Labadan,' 'Fernando Poe Capunay,' etc. Certainly a vast improvement over those Spanish-era saintly names of old (mine included). You would think parents of those kids were diehard movie fanatics who wanted to append their idol's screen names to their kids'. But once, while taking a blood sample from a baby girl with profusely runny nose and 'Phoebe Cates' as given name, I kidded the mother that she must be a Phoebe Cates fan. To which she replied that living in a rural barrio she seldom watched movies actually, not to mention that she could hardly afford it; she didn't know it was a movie star's name until much later. It was the midwife who attended to her when she gave birth to her baby who pinned a paper with that name on the baby's lampin. Needless to say, she and her husband found it unique. So the name stuck. Go figure how many more babies that a midwife christened with her own idols' fancy names. The baby's parents nevertheless were proud of it, mind you."

Comments are welcome at aocampo@ateneo.edu