When summer is gone

I ONCE saw an elderly couple holding hands as they walked slowly. Not wanting to let the occasion pass, I went up to them and told them how inspired and edified I was to see them being so sweet and tender to each other after all the years. "Well, not really. You see, at our age, if I don't hold her hands, she'll fall down," was the old man's reply.

* * *

In today's Gospel (Jan. 15, 19-17), Jesus exhorts us to love one another, and to love one another as He has loved us. The key here is commitment, which is the foundation of all true loving. Long after the romance has died, long after the idealism and the feelings have faded, long after summer is gone, love survives because of commitment. Maybe you are not so much "in love" now, but are you still committed?

* * *

When asked why her marriage broke up, a woman came up with two reasons: one, she did not marry the best man; and two, she married her husband for better or for worse but not for good! Without commitment, love doesn't have much chance to grow, much less survive. Without commitment, it is so easy to grow tired, to give up, to hold back and even to take back.

* * *

The story is told about a man who came home early from work one day. When his wife asked him why, he said, "Oh, the boss told me to go to hell."

We may laugh at the story, but the point is that the man, because he had commitment, was "willing to march into hell for a heavenly cause," as the song goes. How far easier it is to give up and destroy rather than hold on and build up.

* * *

The decision to love long after summer is gone is a decision to stop hurting the beloved and a decision to continue loving in spite of the hurts. Big words but not impossible, hard but bearable, and eventually it will pay off and bear fruit. Maybe that's why it is called bear-able!

* * *

Should a relationship really become unbearable (i.e., unable to bear fruits anymore), I suppose people will have to make their decision. Whatever decision they make will naturally involve much pain. There are no fast and easy solutions. The bottom line? If, at the end of your life, you can say to God, "Lord I really gave it my very best," then you can be at peace. God will understand whatever happens in the meantime.

Before you make any big decisions in your life, make doubly sure that you have really given it your very best shot.

* * *

Someone rightly said that when we were young, we did our hair according to the existing hairstyle, but when we are old, we have to do our hair according to our existing hair. So also in love. As we find our limitations and experience failures in our loving, we have to be humble enough to accept our shortcomings, but brave and committed enough to continue loving and to keep on trying.

* * *

In the realm of spiritual life, there is no such thing as a perpetual summer. There are rainy and gloomy days, too. But again, spiritual life is not so much a matter of feeling good and feeling nice about God and about ourselves. In fact at times, the feelings are not there, but we go on anyway. All that the Lord asks is that we remain in His love. Warts, bruises, dirt, scars and all, we are to remain in His love, and there we must stay whether we are inspired or tired, till we expire.

* * *

I can't help but admire the deep commitment of our missionaries. Many of them left the comforts of their countries and their homes to spread God's love in far, poor and even fearful places. Many of them said goodbye with the thought of never again seeing their beloved country and family in this lifetime. When they said goodbye, they were actually saying, "Till we meet again, in heaven." Admirable human courage and sacrifice! Amazing grace in weak and unworthy mortals like us!

* * *

Let us help our Filipino missionaries carry out their commitment in the foreign mission. Let us continue to pray for them. Let us also help them in their material needs. In this connection, I would like to invite you to a bingo sponsored by the Mission Angels on June 22, 2003 at the PICC, starting at 1 p.m. A ticket worth 1,000 pesos entitles you to 10 bingo games with a chance to win 1 million pesos and three cars. Please contact the SVD Mission Office at tel. no. +632 721-7454/+632 727-1160.

* * *

Summer is almost gone. Soon it will be June. Back to school and rainy days, again.

As a little boy how I wished that summers would never end. Oh, the joys of summer! No classes, lots of time to play, the great outdoors, the beach, late nights, summer lessons, summer realizations. But, summer's not forever, so what do you do when summer is gone? You go on. And when love is gone? You also go on.

* * *

A moment with the Lord:

Lord, help me to go on loving, when, and especially so, when summer is gone. Amen.