Hold on

THE STORY is told about a man who was driving up to Baguio for the first time. It was raining and foggy as he started his ascent. Luckily there was a vehicle in front of him which he decided to follow. The tail lights of the car was his guide through the thick fog. He was elated with his strategy. Then, suddenly, the car ahead stopped. When it did not move for some time, he blew his horn. The other driver alighted from his car, and asked him what was wrong. "Abante na tayo," the first driver said. The other driver retorted: "What do you mean keep going? I'm already in my garage!"

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The Gospel today (Jn. 15,1-8) is about remaining in Jesus, who is the vine. Apart and away from Him, we can do nothing. Like the wise driver in our story who followed the other car with so much tenacity, we too should hold on to the Lord through thick and thin. Just follow. Don't run ahead. Don't run far. Don't run away. Just stay, and you won't go astray.

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It pays to obey and stay. When we look back, the most painful, the dirtiest and the unhappiest moments of our lives happened because we did not obey. These were moments when we chose not to remain in His love. To borrow the lines of a song: "Like a lamb in the springtime I have wandered from the fold."

Usually, in the springtime of money, youth, power and glory, we tend to run ahead and run away from the Lord. We do not only forget Him. At times we even defy Him, and actually believe that we can make it on our own and get ahead by ourselves, until some trial, some "pruning" makes us realize that we do need Him. Such is the human condition.

But the good news is that He always welcomes us home, without limits, without conditions. Too good to be true, but it is true. God loves you, more than you know, more than you realize, more than you can imagine, more than you allow yourself to be loved. So, let's be kapal muks (thick faced) and kapit tuko (hold on) to the Lord.

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Some weeks ago, Arnold, a man in his late 20s walked into my office and opened his heart which was filled with so much anger against God. He could not understand why he lost his sight on his right eye because of a freak accident while he was drilling on the cement wall. He was a good person all his life. Why did this God allow such a misfortune to happen? He was deeply hurt and he was very resentful. He knew he could not fight God. ("Sino ba naman ako?") So he just wallowed in his deep resentment (tampo) and depression.

Like a child who could not understand why his loving parents "punished" him, his hurt and resentment deepened. But, grace is real and operative even, and especially so, in the lowest hell. Through it all, somehow he prayed -- not to God, but to the Blessed Mother. He did not pray to God. "Tell that God that I am angry with Him" was his constant prayer to the Blessed Mother. Yes, somehow he held on. He stayed. He prayed angry, but he prayed on. By God's grace he recovered his inner sight, and found his way back to God's embrace.

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At one time or another, we all have been "pruned by God" like Arnold. Like him, we too must have questioned and doubted God's love, or even perhaps hated him. That's OK. He's big enough. He can take it. He is loving enough. He understands.

Presumptuous? It is better to be presumptuous of God's love than to doubt God's love. It is better to get angry with God than to wallow in resentment and self-pity.

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Another Arnold who experienced a lot of "pruning" was Blessed Arnold Janssen who will be canonized, along with our first SVD missionary to China, Blessed Josef Freinademetz. A lot of people thought he was a fool to start a mission house at a time when there was religious persecution in Germany in 1875. Many of his co-workers abandoned him, but he held on to the vision and mission God spelled out for him. He was stubborn and unbending when it came to doing God's will. Here was a man who persisted and persevered, and remained in His love, no matter what.

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Pilgrimages are now being organized for the canonization of Blessed Arnold and Josef in Rome on Oct. 5, with extensions to Lourdes and Fatima. Join us. For details please call +632 7217457.

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May is the month of flowers. Only he who has gone through winter can really appreciate spring. I still remember my first winter in Korea as a missionary. Snow is cozy and all, but everything else around dies in winter. The bitter cold weather can be cruel to the trees. I am really amazed how they survive winter, taking it all, braving it all. And then one morning in spring, green sprouts appear again, as if shouting: "I have survived! I am alive, because I stayed put, and I stayed on!"

May we too experience many springtimes in our lifetime.

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A moment with the Lord:

Lord, help me to remain in you and hold on to you no matter what. Amen.