Family matters

THE STORY is told about two high school classmates who bumped into each other during the holidays. After the initial animated how-have-you-been's, they started talking about their lives and their families, particularly about their husbands. With sadness, the first one said that her husband "ay sumakabilang buhay na'' (went to the next life already). The second one, with more sadness, said that her husband "ay sumakabilang bahay na'' (went to the next house already)!

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Today is the Feast of the Holy Family. The Gospel today (Lk. 2:41-52) speaks about the love of Jesus and Mary and Joseph for each other. The Gospel also speaks about a basic ingredient needed by every family: respect for one another. Without respect, there can be no true love in the family. If you do not love each other, do you at least respect one another in your family? There are parents who think they own their children. In the name of love, they even run their children's lives.

Parents, Jesus reminds you today that your children are God's more than they are yours, and that God loves them more than you can love them. If your children can't find a place in the sun, maybe it's because they keep sitting in the shade of your family tree.

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Last November, an elderly woman came to my office with much sadness. She had been "abandoned" by her only daughter. She had no place to go, and she had no one in this world. Somehow, through the help of friends, we were able to put her in a room where she could stay, at least, for the meantime. It was such a sad and painful story, and I thought that was that.

But on December 24, her "prodigal daughter" came over to tell me the good news that she and her mother had been reunited. She had asked for forgiveness and she promised that she would never again leave her aging mother. She left because she needed to have space from her domineering and sometimes mean mother. It was a painful phase for both of them, but now, they are together again, with their lessons learned, more resolved to stick it out with one another. It was a beautiful Christmas moment.

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On a personal note, our family had a beautiful Christmas moment when we celebrated the Noche Buena with all of us present. For the past four years, our youngest sister, Bing, a Montessori teacher, had to stay put in the United States till she got her green card. Mama urged us all to pray that Bing would be home for Christmas this year. Her faith was unwavering. She was confident that our prayers would be answered. She told us, as she often did in the past, to pray to our departed relatives for their intercession. Guess what? Bing received her notice of interview on June 23, the death anniversary of our Papa, and she was given the green card on December 18, the birthday of Papa. Prayer works, family matters!

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Again we affirm: "The family that prays together, stays together.'' There is no such thing as a perfect family or a perfect relationship, but if God is present, somehow the ties are never broken. The ties may be weakened, but never severed. So, we all must hold on to God and to one another. Somebody put it beautifully: If you don't want your family to alter, you must go back to your family altar.

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There is a lot of wisdom and grace in being obedient to one's parents. Even Jesus was obedient to Joseph and Mary. Those who disobey and make their parents sad, have a lot of burdens in their lives. That's because of the Fourth Commandment: to honor one's parents carries with it a promise, a blessing in this life. It is never too late to make our parents happy, whether they are already gone, or are still alive. Our greatest gift to them is that we are close to God, close to one another, and that, even when they are already gone, we will be okay, we will continue to love one another. Then they will have, indeed, left behind good assets in this world in us, their children.

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Wish you had more and had received more, especially at Christmas? Learn from the text message about a little boy who was asked if he got all he wanted this Christmas. His response was: "No, but then, it is His birthday, not mine, right?"

Right! When will you stop wishing to have more? When will you stop receiving and start giving?

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We are one human family with God as our Father. For those who think they are better than the rest because of their color, race, creed or culture, listen to this message of a black man from Texas: "When I born, I black. When I grow up, I black. When I sick, I black. And when I die, I black. You white folks, when you born, you pink. When you grow up, you white. When you go in sun, you red. When you scared, you yellow. When you sick, you green. When you bruised, you purple. And when you die, you gray. So who you calling colored?"

May the new year be a better year for all of us, in all aspects, in Jesus' name. Amen.

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A moment with the Lord:

Lord, remind me that family matters do matter. Amen.