Parting

ACORDING to hair stylists, there are three kinds of men when it comes to hair: some men have their hair parted; others have their hair unparted; and and the rest have their hair departed!

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The Gospel today (Lk. 14, 25-33) speaks about parting with one's possessions and loved ones as a requirement for discipleship. A disciple must be free from attachments so that he can be free for his/her commitment. "Freedom from" should lead to "freedom for."

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It can happen that someone is single and detached, and be just that. There are people like that, sitting on the fence, and having the best of both worlds. Some people go through life all wrapped up in themselves. Such people may have their hands full, but their hearts are empty. In the end, he who lives only for himself doesn't have much really to live for. What are you living for? Who are you living for?

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Try lifting up a chair and putting it away from your body as far as possible. In this position, the chair gets heavier and heavier every second.

Now, try to bring the chair as close to your body as possible. Yes, literally embrace it, and it is not that heavy anymore. It is the same way with the crosses that we carry in our lives. For as long as we refuse, run away, complain, resent and fight our crosses in life, they will only become heavy. But if we embrace them, and embrace the Jesus on the cross, then we experience lightness, freedom and peace. If a trial comes your way, embrace it. If any relationship needs healing or mending in your life, face it. If there is any bad habit that needs to be given up, confront it. If there is any duty or responsibility you should do, do it. And if there is any commitment you should honor, fulfill it. And if there are people you should talk to, or confront or appreciate, go to them and open your heart. The more you run away, the more you deny, the more you postpone, the heavier the cross becomes.

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A religious once confessed: "When I was young, chastity was my problem. When I reached mid-life, poverty was my problem. And now, in my sunset years, obedience is my problem." How true. Parting with the desire for worldly pleasures is not easy. Parting with the desire for worldly comforts and riches is not easy. Parting with the desire for control is not easy. It is a continuous struggle. It never really ends. And yet, we go on, carry our cross daily, and with God's grace, hope to come to His final embrace, someday.

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The Gospel today also speaks about a fellow who began to build a house, laid its foundation, and was not able to finish it. In Loboc, Bohol, there is this massive unused and unfinished bridge that stops right in front of the town's historic church. How in the first place the bridge came to be built is a mystery to me. Did the builders actually believe they can tear down the old church? Was it a case of wrong projections, overconfidence, or even deceit? Questions. Questions. But the message is clear: We approach God with humility, depending not so much on ourselves, but on His grace.

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The more I reflect on the unfinished Loboc bridge, the more I realize the importance of our ability to part with our own plans, our own agenda and our own strength when it comes to doing God's work. Such a massive and showy bridge, but it is good for nothing. It got so filled with itself, and never delivered to others. Such is the picture of many of us, so-called "bridges," political and religious leaders who become fattened pigs and never quite give away our own pork. May we become more self-sacrificing and more self-effacing.

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With the onset of September, Christmas is not far behind. Somehow, the thought of Christmas gives us hope for better and more peaceful days ahead. This early, if you are a true disciple, start thinking already what you can do as give-away for others instead of worrying on what to spend for yourself. A disciple must continue to listen with the Lord's ear, see with the Lord's eye, speak with the Lord's mouth, and love with the Lord's heart. The challenge remains: He must increase, I must decrease.

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September 8 is Mama Mary's birthday. Here was a disciple who knew what parting is early on, until she had to part with her son in a most excruciating manner at Calvary. What made her strong is the "Big Picture." She knew in her heart that there was a reason and mission in everything. May we all continue to be strong so as to have the courage to leave behind all that is dearest if the road of discipleship so requires.

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Think about this: The enemies of personal peace are regrets over yesterday's mistakes; anxiety over tomorrow's problems; and ingratitude for today's blessings.

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A moment with the Lord

Lord, help me to learn how to part, so that when from this world I depart, of you I will be a part. Amen.