CHRISTMAS is here, time again to look back at the past and brace ourselves for the future. This time since it's an entire millennium turning, we tend to linger longer on the little and big monuments and milestones that have, to a large measure, defined who and what we are. In more than one, it's like mentally going though the museum of our lives.

I've made an interesting handle of it for my ''Careful, Careful'' interviews on DZMM, and the movie stars have found the exercise both healthy and invigorating. It has made them rejoice in the reaffirmation of their human capabilities even as it compelled them to stare once more at the failures that have given them the strength with which they pursued their dreams and aspirations.

I myself have tried it, and it made me want to cry. Reminiscing is a celebration of tears--happy tears, they certainly are. And here are the 10 little and big monuments and milestones in my life:

1. My becoming Inday Badiday. I was assigned to replace the program on DZRM of an anchorman called Mr. Batangueño. The station manager advised me to find a catchy name for easy identification and recall. I consulted my mom about it. She remembered the simpleton who roamed the streets of Balingasag, Misamis Oriental where she grew up. Her name was Inday Badida. We simply added another ''y'' to rhyme. Since that time, that name, borrowed from a village idiot, has been mine.

2. Official show biz recognition. It was at the press conference for a Guy and Pip movie for Sampaguita Pictures. Doc Perez sought me out and introduced me to everyone. The girl in me was thrilled, especially since that formal introduction prodded Joe Quirino to write about me in his popular ''Seeing Stars'' column for the Daily Mirror. My entire family read it, and it somehow made them rethink their objections against my pursuing a show biz career.

3. Nora Aunor. Whether I like it or not, the superstar's name shall forever be a part of my life in show business. In no small measure, she has been the star to whom I hitched my wagon. And even if that wagon eventually went on to chart its own course to reach other places in the show biz sky, there shall forever be that spot in my heart with the name Nora Aunor etched on it.

4. My first TV show. It was my dear friend and mentor Kitchie Benedicto who opened my eyes to the world of television. I was then very insecure about my talents and capabilities, but she built up my confidence in myself.

''Kapag umapir sa show mo ang isang artista, ibig sabihin, sikat siya, made na siya,'' she prophesied. Of course, I was quite reluctant to take up the challenge, but my Dad told me, ''Whenever opportunity knocks, open your door. Grab it and embrace it for it may never knock on your door again. You can always learn the ropes on the job.'' So, ''Nothing But the Truth'' was born.

5. The cancellation. An inebriated Romeo Vasquez guested on my show, spewing out more than a mouthful against erstwhile wife Amalia Fuentes. It was a good thing that the show was already over when the feisty Nena barged into the studio, fuming mad and raring for a fight. She created such a big thing out of it that the network decided to cancel my show.

6. ''See True.'' ''Nothing But the Truth'' was on the air for four years. Then came ''Would You Believe,'' which was on for a year. Those two shows prepared me for ''See True,'' which went on for seven years--five on Channel 13 and two on GMA-7.

Kicthie's prophesy came to pass with this show. ''See True'' created its own dynamics; every episode defined itself. It was free-wheeling, nobody knew what was coming next. It didn't only report show biz new, in many instances, the news itself happened live before the televiewers' very eyes.

7. Kababalaghan. Aside from show biz scandals, controversies and intrigues, my TV shows also became synonymous with kababalaghan. I'd travel far and wide to look for the incredible stories that underlined the pop culture of our generation. Today, I watch ''Balitang K,'' ''Extra, Extra'' and many other shows, and feel proud to see that they are following the trail that my shows have blazed.

8. Public service. There was a time, public service shows weren't watchable. But ''Eye to Eye'' changed that. It makes me happy to say that this show helped institutionalize the Filipino's innate gift of generosity. I've always been amazed by how the number of people needing help was always matched by the people willing to give it.

Of all the shows I've produced, it was ''Eye to Eye'' that gave me the biggest feeling of fulfillment if only because, up to my dying day, my memories shall forever be lit up by the smiles of all the people whose lives were touched, helped and transformed because of it. These are not only the people who received but, to a big extent, also those who gave.

9. The Loca family. We started more like a cottage industry--with only a handful of hard-working, happy people. Then we grew. And the more we grew, more and more we became one. Yes, of course, we fought against each other, but that only made us love each other more. We cried and laughed together. We became real and, along the way, and were able to bring out the best in ourselves.

I miss them all. Some have moved to other jobs, others have gone abroad, and a few have died. But wherever their destiny may take them, I know that in their hearts, there's the seed of family that Loca Productions has planted.

10. Separation. When Gene and I separated, for a while there, the experience brought out the monster in each of us. It was excruciating. The monsters have now been slain. I now realize it was all for the best. The separation made us go through the painful process of reexamining ourselves, which propelled us to reinvent and transform our individual lives. Today, I hope that, because of the experience, we have come nearer to how God planned us to be in the first place.

I've decided to come up with just 10. There are actually many more. But that's not the point. The point is how the remembering and reliving makes me recognize the guideposts with which I may now move on with my life.

Try this yourself. Amidst the hustle and bustle of the season, there will always be quiet moments for reflection. Seize the chance. Visit the museum of your life, confront the ghosts of the past and make peace with them. In the final analysis, that's the only way we can make peace with ourselves.