LAST week, my bones ganged up on me. I sprained my left ankle--and that wasn't all. I also dislocated my upper arm, and fractured the head of the humerus bone which connects my right limb to that part of my shoulders.

How did it happen? I was preparing to ride my van. With my right hand, I held on to the backrest of the front seat in order to pull my body up and into the van. Unfortunately, I miscalculated a step and my left foot got twisted in the gutter of the road. This made my body turn 360 degrees. I was a ballet dancer before, but I never did that kind of pirouette! Before I knew what was happening, I was down on the pavement.

At first, I felt a numb feeling on my right shoulder, followed by incredible pain. My driver did his best to rush me to the hospital--I was pleading for him to slow down because even the smallest movement shot a bolt of pain into my already swelling upper arm. I screamed all the way to the emergency room of St. Luke's Medical Center.

Curiously, that Wednesday started out just like any other day. I had no inkling whatsoever of the distressing ordeal it had in store for me.

I woke up early, prayed and gave thanks to the Lord for the miracle of another new day, and willed myself to be cheerful in readiness for the challenges that life had to offer. I mentally ran through the long list of things I had to do, and I muttered a little prayer for the Lord to give me the time to cram all of them. Of course, I wasn't able to do most of them. I never realized that He had other plans for me that day.

The accident happened. Thank God for the miracle that the doctors who attended to me were very good orthopedists who were able to put my bones back together again without surgery. I was able to go home the same day, and to return to my dzMM radio show the following day.

(I'd like to thank the people who helped me--Baby Pascual, Dr. Carlos Magsanoc, Dr. Lim of the National Orthopedic Hospital, the doctors and staff of St. Luke's Medical Center's emergency room, Angge, Yolly Neri, Adela Anicete and my personal staff.)

It felt unreal. I'd have found it funny were it not so painful. The pain brought about feelings of insecurity, self-pity and self-doubt. As the days wore on, the tragedy magnified itself in my mind, and I could feel myself slowly slipping into the depths of depression and despair.

Why did it have to happen to me, Lord? What have I done to deserve this freak accident? This unbelievable pain? Wasn't it enough that, in the past few years, You already allowed me to be hounded by a seemingly endless series of problems? I love You with all my heart, but where are You, God? Why does all of heaven seem so silent?

Those questions ran marathons through my mind, until I broke down. The throbbing pain on my right shoulder was bad enough, but the wrenching agony in my heart was so much worse.

That night, I slept the fitful sleep of the lost and downtrodden. But I woke up to a morning of great hope. It came from a book tucked in an obscure nook in my room, titled "Life Is Tough But God Is Faithful" by Sheila Walsh. I don't remember who gave me the book, but it was as if God Himself had given it to me. It had all the answers to my anguished questions.

As I devoured it, my spirit began to soar and my heart started to sing. Here are choice excerpts:

--"When life doesn't make sense anymore, we can give up or we can remember who Jesus really is and that, no matter how dark it is, He is worth it all."

--"We often ask, 'Can I really trust God? Where is He? Why isn't He riding to the rescue?' Perhaps, the real question is, 'Can God trust me?"

--"I realize how fragile life really is. At first I took a quick look at the Lord and a long look at my problems. I've learned to change this around, and now I take a quick look at my problems and a long look at the Lord."

--"Questioning God sounds blasphemous to some people. They might say, 'How dare you? Who do you think you are, that you can come before God and question Him?' But I don't think being honest with God is blasphemous at all. I believe God wants us to be honest because He wants a real relationship with us, not something plastic or halfhearted."

--"When our dreams seem to go sour or remain unfulfilled, hopelessness can dominate our lives-or we can hold on with open hands, knowing that we have hope because God is faithful."

--"Everytime a believer struggles with sorrow or loneliness or ill health or pain and chooses to trust and serve God anyhow, a bell rings out across heaven and the angels give a big shout. Why? Because one more pilgrim has shown again that he or she understands that Jesus is worth it all. God is faithful."

No easy answers

--"There are innumerable situations where you want to see God's hand move and make a difference, make everything all right. Yet heaven often seems silent, mute, uncaring. Why? I don't know the answer. I don't believe that anyone fully does. But God has brought some very brave and godly people into my life who have helped me to understand that there are no easy answers, and to accept living with mystery when there is no visible sign to do so."

Then, the book proceeded to tell ordinary people's amazing stories of faith that made me feel small and own suffering insignificant compared to theirs.

There was Debbie, afflicted with the most debilitating form of multiple sclerosis, whose faith allowed her to hold on to her sense of joy even as she bravely faced the certainty of death.

There was Randy, disabled by a badly twisted leg from a childhood accident, who waited and waited for healing but didn't mind when it didn't come. All he had to say was: "I know God can heal me, but my faith is not based on my healing. My faith is in Jesus."

There was Marilyn, stricken by macular degeneration which ruined her retina and eventually rendered her totally blind, but who through the years never wavered in her faith that God could heal her-which He did, to the total incredulity of her doctor who, upon examination of her eyes, discovered that there was still only scar tissue in there and couldn't medically explain how it was possible that she could see.

Stories like these have a humbling effect on me even as they make me rejoice in the reaffirmation of God's love. The book quoted Hannah Whittle Smith who expressed God's love this way:

Put together all the tendered love you know.

The deepest you have ever felt.

And the strongest that has ever been poured out upon you,

And heap upon it all the love of all the loving human

hearts in the world,

And then multiply it by infinity,

And you will begin, perhaps,